Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Aurora - Short Story
I hate everyone! There is not a single person on the planet that I don’t hate, and that’s fine by me. It makes things easier.
When I was a small boy, I had no idea my family was not normal. I honestly thought everyone’s father beat their mother on a regular basis. I used to hide behind the couch and watch as dad made mom scream and cry. I didn’t particularly like that he hurt my mom, but that was just life. What could I do about it?
My mom coped with her life by drinking. It’s a good thing my dad made as much money as he did, because I figure my mom must have drank a good 10th of his income away. Despite being perpetually drunk, she always made fabulous food, and kept the house clean. We were always well dressed and respectable looking.
My brother was 5 years older than me. I was never really sure if he knew what happened while he was at school, but I do know that by age 10, he was already winning minor martial arts competitions, and he loved to practice his moves on me.
If I complained that he hit or hurt me, my parents simply ignored me, and my brother practiced on me all the harder the next time. I learned to withstand a lot of pain from him… I also learned how to fight from him.
When I was too big to hide behind the couch, my father started noticing that I existed, and this meant that I was now a target too. Having survived many a practice session from my brother, I knew how to take a beating, but even so, it fucking hurt! I didn’t dare fight back though. Doing so would be suicide!
When I was 10, my brother won the national martial arts championship. I still don’t understand why my dad let him learn to be such a good fighter, but maybe some part of him was proud to pass on the violence gene. My brother seemed like such a good kid to those that didn’t know him, but to me he was still just a bully that beat on me. Though, by that point, I was pretty good at fighting back. Not enough to kick his ass mind you, but good enough that I could have won a few local championships in my division had I wanted to.
One day, my brother came home unexpectedly early, and discovered my dad beating up our mom and me. He must not have known about this, and I admit I certainly hadn’t told him. I thought it was normal, and I thought that it just wasn’t talked about. I thought my brother had gone through it himself. I guess I was wrong.
My brother got seriously pissed off at our father, and kicked his ass. My brother had far more training than our father did, and it really wasn’t much of a contest. My brother didn’t stop though; he just kept beating and kicking our dad until he was dead. Mom and I were in shock.
I don’t really remember much about what happened next, but there were police, and doctors, and… the next thing I do actually remember clearly, my mom and I were home alone. We had both been brought to the hospital, and our wounds and bruises documented.
My brother had been brought to jail, and eventually convicted of murdering our father. The jury reasoned that even though he was protecting us, he went too far. He should have stopped long before dad died. So, he was sent to jail, having been tried as an adult.
In jail, if the official report can be believed, he picked a fight, and then held still as he was beaten by the other inmates. By the time the guards broke up the fight, he had sustained fatal damage. Somehow a knife had found a new home in his heart. Some of the inmates involved claimed that he had wanted to die, but I don’t know what to believe. I finally learned that my brother wasn’t such a bad guy, and he was dead.
Living alone with my mom was not better than living together as a family. With no abusive husband around to keep her motivated, she drank more than ever. She neglected me, leaving me to fend for myself, and when she did remember I was there, she had a tendency of bribing me with loving kindness… until a minute later when she turned into a razor tongued harpy.
We didn’t fight, and she didn’t beat me, but this was almost worse! There was no consistency to her emotional rollercoaster, and I soon found myself in the role of her caregiver. I toughed it out until I was 18, but then I turned her over to an institution, and joined the army.
In every movie in which a young man joins the army, only to be shocked by the verbal abuse and toughness of army training, the movie portrays boot camp as something close to hell. I thrived in the army! Drill sergeants had nothing on my dad… mom… or brother! Each one of them had already abused me in their own way to the point where there was nothing a drill sergeant could do that was worse.
I had the skill to enroll in ever more specialized and skilled training. By the time I was 21, I was an expert at black ops. Even so, one mission I was part of went horribly bad, and I was dishonorably discharged from the army.
I had no idea how to live as a normal person. I looked around at everyone and everything, and all I felt was rage and hate. I hate everyone! All the pathetic people living their lives as if everything was perfect. Nothing is perfect, and anyone who thinks so has never opened their eyes long enough to take a close look at the world. They make me sick!
I had inherited plenty of money from my father when I turned 18, so, with no need to work, and the army no longer an option… I decided to drink. Fuck it all! Maybe I could pick a fight. It might feel good to kick someone’s ass.
I went to a local bar, and quietly drank by myself in a booth in the corner. I had my back to the wall, and was prepared to fight anyone who looked at me the wrong way. Hell! I might even fight everyone in the whole bar. I bet I could put them all in the hospital.
Sitting at the bar was this loud, obnoxious woman… or was she still just a girl? It was a bit hard for me to tell, and I have never been a good judge of age. She was ID’d by the bartender, and then served a drink, so she must be around the same age as me.
I watched her, understanding for the first time why my father always beat up my mom. No woman should talk as much as this one did, and the things she said were so stupid!
“Does this dress look good on me? I’m new in town and I don’t know anyone, where can I find a hotel? Why sure I’ll accept a drink from you!”
Did she realize that she had just marked herself as a victim? Her dress did not provide enough cover; she did not have anyone to protect her, and now she was getting drunk. She was either going to get raped or gang-banged, and it would be her own damn fault!
I kept an eye on her because I wanted to pick a fight with someone anyway. I may as well pick a fight with whoever tries to hurt her. Maybe she would be magically smarter once she was sober.
She laughed and giggled almost constantly, and the sound was like nails on a chalkboard. It grated on my nerves, and made me want to punch her in the face to make her stop. I could not believe that the bartender hadn’t thrown her out for being annoying.
She was soon tipsy, and swerved wildly on her way to the bathroom. I watched three guys conduct a whispered conversation about her, and knew that they were planning on having a lot more fun with her than she would probably want if she was sober. Two went to wait for her by the bathroom door, and the third stood next to the door.
I knew that they were going to herd her out of the bar, and probably into one of their cars. I tossed some money on my table to cover my tab, and quickly exited the establishment. I found a large dark shadow to hide in, and waited for them to come out of the bar.
“Oh god! I totally needed some air!” She exclaimed. She was in front of the three guys, and walked only slightly better than she had a few moments ago. She whirled and shouted exuberantly. “It’s such a beautiful night!”
One of the guys tried to grab onto her, but she stumbled, and veered unexpectedly, and he missed. She jumped a bit, and burst into song.
“Nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye!”
She jumped, danced, and sang all around the parking lot, and the three guys had a hard time getting a hold of her. Every time one of them tried to grab her, she’d stumble, and he’d miss. I began to wonder if she was doing it on purpose, but she would have to be an excellent fighter to have that kind of defensive reflexes.
I was dumbfounded to discover that she just had incredible luck! With as many times as she had stumbled, she should have a sprained ankle at the very least, but no. She was walking and dancing as well as she ever had. Which was really not saying much.
“Thish ish my car!” She announced with a slur.
“I really don’t think you should be driving,” one of her would-be rapists reasoned.
“Don’t be shilly! I’m purrrfectly capa-ba… capababble… cape… What washh I shaying again? Oh yeah! I can totally drive!”
“Riiight…” a guy laughed. “Sure you can.”
“Shonova! I gotta pee again!” She promptly slid her panties down, and squatted. She must have peed on one of the guys’ shoes, because he started freaking out.
“These shoes cost me 250.00!” He backed away a few feet.
“Don’t be a baby!” Another accused scornfully.
“I’ve got her,” the third promised as she stood, forgetting that her panties were still around her ankles. He put an arm around her, and pulled her so that her head was resting on his chest.
“We really need to get you to a place where you can’t sleep it off,” he lied soothingly.
“Ok…aaaay…” she slurred. I was sure she was half asleep by this point. She made an unpleasant sound, and the guy holding pushed her to the ground.
“Oh nasty! She just threw up on me!”
“Let’s just leave her,” the guy with pee on his shoes suggested. “She’s not worth all this hassle.”
“I agree,” vomit-shirt replied as he looked around for something to clean himself up with.
“Fine, let’s go,” the guy who seemed to be the leader acquiesced, and they left.
I felt a bit disappointed. I seriously wanted to kick someone’s ass, and they had left before they did anything worthy of an ass kicking. I shook my head, and wondered what to do next.
“I’ve got big balls, and he’s got big balls, but we’ve got the biggest balls of them all!” She sang and giggled, completely unconcerned about her fate. I watched her stand, giggle – did she never stop giggling? – and open the door to her jeep.
The top was gone, and the door was not locked. I wondered how it hadn’t been stolen by now. She crawled into the driver’s seat, and pulled her keys from between her breasts.
I will admit that I would not have thought to look for them there. I made myself busy scanning the parking lot, and surrounding area for potential threats. Finding no threats aimed at myself, or at her, I had no idea what to do next.
The jeep started with a roar, and I would guess that it was at least 10 years old. It settled into a loud purr, and I was reasonably certain that it would not die on her. This was bad because she was in no condition to drive!
What to do, what to do??? If I didn’t do something, she was going to drive away, and likely crash. I rushed to her jeep, and wondered why she hadn’t shifted it into reverse yet.
I arrived at her side, and found that she was asleep. She cuddled up to her steering wheel, and giggled. I was caught between wanting to punch her for giggling still, and relief over her luck. I hadn’t done a single thing to protect her, and she had managed to survive anyway. If I walked away now, she would wake up to an empty tank, but she would be alive, and likely sober.
Unless someone else noticed how easy her car would be to steal right now. Then she might not be so lucky. I groaned in frustration. Tonight was not going at all how I planned it!
There was no choice. I had to bring her home with me until she slept it off. I noticed the driver side door was still slightly open, and opened it all the way. I scooped her up, and carried her to the passenger side.
As I drove home, I mentally smacked myself. I currently lived in a studio apartment, and didn’t have anything in my apartment but a bed, a table, and some dishes. Where was I going to put her?
I guess I would just have to put her in my bed, and sleep on the floor. I had slept in places a lot worse than my floor, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Except I only had one pillow and blanket; so who got them, her or me?
I cast her an annoyed look as she mumbled and giggled in her sleep. What they hell was she so happy about anyway? I couldn’t understand it.
10 minutes later, I parked her jeep in my spot, and carried her into my apartment. I noticed that she had vomited on her dress, and though I felt like a bastard for removing it, I didn’t want her covered in puke while she slept in my bed. I covered her bra and panty clad body with my blanket, and paced for a bit.
She was utterly passed out, and I wasn’t going to touch her, so why should I try to sleep on the floor when there was plenty of room in my bed? I paced some more, and stripped down to my boxers. Coming to a decision, I lay down next to her, and covered myself with the blanket.
I have had sex before, but not often. I usually found better things to do with my time, and besides… girls and women always annoyed me. They never shut up, and completely pissed me off.
Listening to her breathe – and giggle, I gritted my teeth to stop from growling over that – made my body hot. I decided that since she was out cold, I would just jack off, and then go to sleep. I tossed aside the blanket, and removed my boxers, setting them next to me so I could put them back on after I was done.
A few minutes later, I was ready to squirt, and realized that I didn’t have a towel or Kleenex or anything. I grabbed the first thing I could find, my boxers, and shot my load into them. I wadded them up, and tossed them across the room when I was done.
I felt strangely lethargic, and fell asleep in no time. As I was drifting off, I tugged the blanket over me again, and snuggled a bit closer to the warmth. I had almost forgotten there was someone else in my bed, but I kept my distance.
I awoke feeling that I needed to defend myself, and reached under my pillow for my gun. It wasn’t there, but by this time, I had come to the realization that I was not in danger. I was being kissed!
“Good morning handsome,” she smiled at me, and I was confused.
Was it normal for her to wake up in bed with a man she didn’t know? She kissed me again, and I realized that she was half atop me with one of her legs between mine. I also realized that I was on my side, and had one arm under her neck.
Her hand roamed down my body, until she had my shaft in her hand. “Did we have sex? Was it good? Can we repeat the performance so that I can remember it?”
I didn’t know what to say! I didn’t know her, and she didn’t know me. That we were sharing a bed was due to an extenuating circumstance.
“Um… miss… I think there has been a misunderstanding,” I decided to explain the situation, and go from there. She interrupted me by kissing me again. She shifted, and I rolled slightly onto my back. I figured I would make it easier for her to get out of bed.
I have no idea how she managed it, but she positioned herself so that she could easily guide me into her. I didn’t realize what she was doing until we were joined by about an inch. I was definitely hard and ready, but I was so confused by her that I felt like we were jumping the gun a bit.
She pinched my butt cheek, and I was so startled that I thrust fully into her. I wondered when she had removed her panties. I instinctively held onto her with the arm that was still under her, and discovered that she had removed her bra too.
“There you go,” she purred encouragingly. We were now pressed together as closely as possible, and I really liked the feel of her. She wiggled, prompting me to do what she wanted me to.
“Aren’t you the tiniest bit curious as to how we ended up in bed?” I asked as I complied with her silent request for me to thrust. I did so slowly, uncertainly.
“I remember seeing you at the bar. I thought you were gorgeous, but you were brooding. I figured that you must have just broken up with your girlfriend, and so I left you alone. Then I got drunk. I must have hit on you at some point.” She smiled, as if it didn’t matter to her in the slightest that she was in bed with a complete stranger.
“Do you do this often?” I wondered.
“No,” she stated, and I believed her. I don’t know why, but I knew she was telling the truth.
We took our time having sex, and I was amazed! I had no idea that sex could feel this good! I was used to whores, and the occasional quickie with a female soldier. In both of those instances, the goal for everyone was to get it over in a speedy and satisfying way.
This was completely different. I had nothing better to do, so I was in no hurry, and she obviously wanted to make a few memories with me. I didn’t even mind her occasional soft giggles.
I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to finish. If I filled her now, it would be over, and she would probably get dressed and leave. She said she was new in town, so I am sure that she needed to find a place to stay. She may not be in a hurry, but I couldn’t think of a single reason she would stay after we were done.
Then I realized that I was not wearing a condom! What if I got her pregnant? I did not want to be a dad! This made me panic, and would have stopped right then and there, but then I remembered that I didn’t want to stop because then she would leave.
What option did that leave? The only one I could think of was having sex forever, but that didn’t seem realistic. Besides, if I kept this up, I was going to cum soon.
She was currently moaning and thrashing about. I had rolled her under me at some point, and I watched her face as she tossed her head from side to side. She began to shake, and the sound coming out of her mouth made me feel cocky.
I pounded into her with reckless abandon as she chanted, “Yes! Oh yes,” over and over. Finally, I could not hold it any longer, and I nearly shouted in triumph as I pumped her full.
Once I was aware of my surroundings again, I gaped at her in horror. “Oh no!” I withdrew from her, and sat on the bed next to her with my knees against my chest, and my arms around my knees.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
“I didn’t want to get you pregnant!”
She laughed. “I just got out of a long term relationship. We hadn’t wanted kids yet, so I am on the pill.”
“Oh thank god!” I knew I had too much of my dad in me. I did not want to inflict my true nature on a woman or a child.
“Are you hungry?” She wondered.
“Ravenous!” She grinned.
“Let me take you out to breakfast,” I offered.
“Or rather lunch, judging by the amount of light streaming through the window,” she laughed.
“Why are you always laughing and smiling?” I demanded.
“Life is wonderful!”
“If that’s true, why are you here with me rather than with your ex?” I was reasonably sure that no one who had been in an abusive relationship could be this damn happy, and so he must have been a good guy.
“He found someone he loved a bit more than me, and I love him enough that I want him to be happy, even if it’s with someone else.”
I realized that I still didn’t know her name, but I was dying of curiosity about something else. “When did you take your underwear off?”
“In the middle of the night, I think. I had to go to the bathroom, and I usually never have clothes on when I sleep, so I probably took them off as I came back to bed.”
The thought of her walking out the door, and doing something like she had done last night again made me want to lock her up. She was going to get herself killed! I had a strong urge to protect her.
I faced her, and looked her directly in the eyes. “Hi, I’m Devin.”
“Hi Devin, I’m Aurora.” She grinned at me in a way that made me want to learn how to smile.
“If you need a place to stay, I would be happy to let you stay here.” Oh crap! I had just asked her to live with me! We have only just met… this is too soon! I am not entirely sure I am safe for her to be around!
“I would like that,” she replied, and then leaned over and kissed me. “How about that breakfast now?”
I think I’m smiling! I was grateful that she was looking for her clothes, because I needed to look in a mirror. I am smiling! I don’t think I have ever smiled before!
I turned to face her, and realized that there was now one person I didn’t hate. It felt strange. I dressed, and retrieved her suitcase from her jeep. She put on a clean outfit, and we left to find someplace to eat.
I made plans to find a bigger apartment, and prayed that she’d stay with me for a long time. The whole world seemed brighter, and I wanted to see if she could teach me how to be happy. Her giggles now sounded like music to my ears.
She was humming as I drove, and suddenly burst into song. “He gives me fever, with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight! Fever! ‘Til you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn…”
I gave her a funny look. Was she trying to tell me something? She saw my look, and laughed.
“What? It’s a song by Madonna!”
“If you say so.” I wasn’t going to argue. She had a great voice, and I loved listening to her. She sang more, and I was more certain than ever that I would do anything to protect her. I just hoped that I never had to protect her from myself.
A year later, I was pacing back and forth outside a door. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I was so nervous that I wanted to shoot something to take my mind off things. If anything happened –
The door opened, and Aurora stepped out.
“Why are you walking?” I demanded.
“I’m fine, here.” She thrust a bundle in my arms, and I was terrified that I was going to drop it. I stared at the tiny new face, and… I think I started to cry.
During the past year, there had been times when I wanted to kill Aurora, but mostly I had a strong urge to keep her safe from all harm, including myself. I still didn’t understand my feelings for her, but they were fierce. I would gladly kill any man that flirted with her!
“She’s a girl,” Aurora informed me softly.
I was definitely crying! I was mesmerized by this tiny creature in my arms. I knew that I would never let anything happen to her. She would never know abuse for I’d protect her. I would kill to protect her, and I would die to protect her. I will probably be the kind of dad that shows any guy interested in her my large and impressive collection of weapons, and my large and impressive backyard.
“She’s beautiful!” I cried. “What’s her name?”
“Farah, it means joy,” Aurora replied softly.
“That’s perfect.” And I meant it. I held in my arms the one thing that made the world good and wonderful, and perfect. I vowed to be a good dad, and to nurture and cherish her. I would teach her to protect herself, so that she would never be as vulnerable as her mother. But I sincerely hoped that she was always as happy as Aurora. Through their eyes, I saw the world in a better light, and I never wanted to go back to who I was before.