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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Why you shouldn't jump on the bandwagon to cancel the Duggars

So there's a petition going around to cancel 19 Kids and Counting. I've only watched the show a little bit, but my mom absolutely LOVES the show. I can totally see why because its a wholesome show that emphasizes treating people with kindness and respect.

So, in my opinion, if you have never seen the show, you should NOT be allowed to sign any petitions to get rid of it!

But here's the crux of the situation: Michelle expressed a very real concern, and then suddenly everyone lost their minds thinking she was anti LGBTQ when she's not.

Here's a whole conversation I had on it on Facebook:

A friend posted a petition to have the show cancelled. A couple of her friends liked the post.

Woman 1 posts: Good!
Woman 2 Posts: just change the channel. They believe in something and stand up for it just as we all do. I dont agree with it but they have the right to believe as they wish

I post: Thank you ******. I'm getting sick of people who don't even watch a show petition to have it taken off the air because they have an unpopular opinion. What are we, in high school? I have watched this show and they are a very loving and kind family. The people petitioning to take this show off the air will be committing a grave crime if they have their way.
I'm firmly pagan and into free love - and freedom of everything for that matter - and even I am saying that this show should not be cancelled!

Woman 1 posts: When they are breeding hate it's a whole different story. Shall we be subjected to a kkk show as well?

I post: They are not breeding hate. Watch the show, they are breeding love and kindness.

Then I decided to try and clarify the situation by posting: Let me put it this way: I am a nudist. Let say I had a ton of money and poured that into campaigning for laws to make it legal to tan naked in public parks. Let's say that I even manage to get popular support. Should I then petition to remove anyone on TV who thinks that being naked is a bad thing? Should I claim they are spreading hate because they want people to wear clothes in parks?
No, I have my opinion and they have theirs. Just because an opinion is popular, doesn't mean that the unpopular opinion should be punished. Just my two cents...

Woman 1 posts: Quote from the article:
It specifically calls out matriarch Michelle Duggar for her efforts to stop an LGBT-inclusive antidiscrimination ordinance in Fayetteville, Ark. Over the summer, she recorded a robocall warning that if transgender people are all
owed to use the restroom most appropriate to their gender identity, it will enable sexual predators to assault women and children. The ordinance passed nonetheless, but now, Wissick says, the Duggars are bankrolling an attempt to repeal it.
“The Duggars have thrown massive amounts of money to repeal this law so business owners and land lords can evict and fire people solely over gender idenity and sexual orientation!” Wissick wrote in an update. “They need to be taken off the air!”

Then to reply to me directly, she posts: Agreed but that situation is NOT discriminatory against ppl being who they are from birth genetically. Being a nudist is a lifestyle preference. Big difference!

I post: So you would rather judge the show based on bad PR than on the actual merit of the show? I can totally believe that Michelle Duggar might believe that transgender people could pose a threat to normal people, but she would not be rude or mean to them in person. She would treat them with kindness and respect.
And I would argue that being a nudist is something a person is born with every bit as much as being bisexual or transgender is. All I am really saying is watch the show a lot AND THEN judge it. Do not believe every article that says something is bad if you haven't seen it yourself.
Peace and have a happy day - night, whatever, lol!

Woman 1 posts: I have watched it and all that is for the sake of the camera and a paycheck. I mean do we really watch tv shows and believe what we see is true? Cmon!

I was in the middle of typing up a post when she posted that, so I didn't really respond to it. But here's what I posted: Last thing, laws are very multifaceted. In one single proposed law you could have:
1 - the right to know what you are eating
2- Money to pay homeless veterans rent

3- A law to make it legal to shoot convicted sex offenders while in jail
4- And a suggestion to take away the right to defend yourself on your property if the person assaulting you is a different ethnicity.

If a person opposed just one part of the law, they would then have to oppose ALL of the law. So maybe they are against part 4, but then the media gets a hold of it and says: SO and SO voted AGAINST knowing what's in your food AND giving homeless veterans a place to live!!!
Now I know I have listed some fairly outlandish examples, but if you actually read every proposed law - especially when it comes to defense spending, they try to slip a LOT of bad shit in there.
So according the to article, Michelle has only ever expressed concerns about transgender people being molesters, but the media then made it into a much bigger issue by claiming that she opposed the REST of the bill too. She never said that. Not even in the article you quoted.

Woman 1 decides to add another article to prove her point: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5689840
She is spreading ignorance and fear lumping transgendered and pedophiles into the same category. Are women not able to violate young girls? Her argument is ridiculous

By her standards, nudists should be able to be fired or evicted because there's a chance they might reveal themselves in an inappropriate place or around minors like in the bathrooms.

Except that it actually proves MY point (I'll get to that in a bit). I post:  I totally agree that her argument is ridiculous! I know trans people and they are usually very sensitive and loving people. I think that Michelle is in the wrong by saying that they are likely to be pedophiles. I never argued with that. All I am saying is that she is entitled to her opinion and that just because it is unpopular, it is being blown way out of proportion. I myself will always vote FOR LGBTQ rights, but she shouldn't have to change her beliefs because people don't like it.

Woman 2 comes back into the conversation: They believe what the majority of Christians do. The only difference is they have a tv show so what they believe is openly out there. I don't agree with their stance on the LGBT community but again they have a right to their beliefs. My daughter is a lesbian so it does hit home for her and our family. If you throw the hate logic out there then most of the reality television shows should be canceled as they do spill hate on different topics. imo

Woman 1 posts a response to my last post: No she shouldn't but she is using tv money to push her agenda

So here's where I get around to explaining why the article she posted actually proves my point: Again, she never said anything about firing or evicting, here are her exact words: Hello, this is Michelle Duggar. I’m calling to inform you of some shocking news that would affect the safety of Northwest Arkansas women and children. The Fayetteville City Council is voting on an ordinance this Tuesday night that would allow men – yes, I said men – to use women's and girls' restrooms, locker rooms, showers, sleeping areas and other areas that are designated for females only. I don’t believe the citizens of Fayetteville would want males with past child predator convictions that claim they are female to have a legal right to enter private areas that are reserved for women and girls. I doubt that Fayetteville parents would stand for a law that would endanger their daughters or allow them to be traumatized by a man joining them in their private space. We should never place the preference of an adult over the safety and innocence of a child. Parents, who do you want undressing next to your daughter at the public swimming pool’s private changing area?

She is simply concerned that a convicted sex offender will use the excuse of being transgender to go into a women's bathroom or locker room and molest people. I can see that as being a valid concern no matter WHAT you believe about transgender. I believe trans to be beautiful people. Never the less, pedophiles will take advantage of this law if they can.

Once more, Michelle herself never said anything else. But because she is opposed to THIS part of the law, people are claiming that she WANTS people to get fired or evicted for being trans. She never said that!

Woman 1 understands me, but basically agrees to disagree: Until I see just as much effort on her part saying I have no problem with trans folks, I just worry about my kids safety from this MINOR possibly. ...I will continue to believe this to be a pr smoke screen because she can't just come out and say trans ppl and gays are bad

I liked her statement because I do actually agree with her in that I believe this whole thing to be a smoke screen to distract from the REAL issues.

Woman 2 ends the conversation with this: ******, i can understand your worries especially with the restroom issues  

So if you have made it to the end of the conversation, you'll realize that people have taken what Michelle Duggar actually said WAY OUT of context. I still firmly believe that the show is a great show and should not be cancelled. I also challenge YOU to actually watch the show for at least 10 episodes before you even consider signing a petition to have it cancelled based off of bad PR and political smoke screens. Base your decision off the actual merits of the show, NOT what every one says happened.

Good night all! 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

What is erotica anyway?

So today I had a comment on my blog from what appeared to be a real person. This made me so happy at first because I don't get near enough comments on my blog. But then, I read the comment...

It was the first 3 sentences of a story with a link to read the rest. I deleted it within a second. WHY? Because it was pornographic.

Whoa whoa wait? What? I deleted something for being pornographic?!?! I know y'all are confused by this because - lets face it - I have plenty of things on my blog that contain, describe, or somehow feature sex. I'm probably the last person people would expect to be mildly offended by someone posting porn on my blog, but I am.


Well, here's the thing, I'm kind of a grammar snob. I am a writer in the true sense, meaning I devote a lot of time and effort into creating something that most people will enjoy. I add graphic sex scenes to some of my writing because I fully believe that sex is a big part of life and that no story talking about someone's life would be complete without a little - or a lot - of sex.

In short, I do write some erotica, and I'm pretty good at it, but it's not the only thing I write.

So wait, back up. What exactly IS erotica?

Let's take three types of stories and compare them. Romance, erotica, and pornography.

Pornography is probably the easiest to describe. Here's an example:

He walked into the room and saw her in the middle of getting undressed, so he walked over to her, lifted her into his arms, tossed her on the bed, and proceeded to fuck her until the headboard banged into the wall. She was naturally delighted and moaned and gasped out her pleasure repeatedly. The fucking took all day, and then when he had finally gotten his rocks off, he left her in bed while he went home.

The entire story exists ONLY for sex and it is graphically described (maybe not so graphic in my example paragraph), but it has no real emotion to it. It's usually a product for men to read or watch so they can masturbate to it. From beginning to end, it has no story but sex, and if it does have a story, it's only to explain why this sex is new and different or enviable.

ROMANCE - on the other hand - is a story that talks about how the couple met, the things they did, and how everyone felt. The story revolves around them falling in love and very likely overcoming some obstacles to be together. It may contain sex, and heck! Very often contains graphic sex. But the sex is not the crux of the story. It's not the reason the story exists.

Erotica is fairly hard to categorize because it is a mixture of the other two genres. It usually has a story, but the story either revolves around sex or it relies heavily on sex to fill the gaps in the plot. It could go something like this:

A man and woman met for the first time because they were set up on a blind date. Both had fun on the date and found the other person funny, but they felt no beginning pangs of love. After a couple of hours, they ran out of things to do but didn't really want to go home and be alone, so they decided to go back to his place and have sex. The sex turned out to be epic, so they had more sex. Then, the next morning, they decided to exchange numbers and call each other if they ever wanted a booty call. For the rest of the story, they run into troubles finding love, so they hook up to have sex at least once a chapter. By the end of the story, they might actually be together, but their story was based on sex and love happened to be the product.

So, to recap: Pornography equals no real story for the sake of sex. Romance equals story for the sake of love, and erotica equals an actual story for the sake of sex, complete with plot that makes sense but isn't intended to have the characters fall in love.

A LOT of times - especially in my writing - romance and erotica end up being the same thing, lol! But the most important thing of all is that I as the author get to decide what category my story falls into, lol!

So anyway, the reason I am against pornography posted to my blog is this: I want a story. I want the characters to get to know each other and fall in love - or at the very least a very solid friendship. I want my readers to be happy and feel good after they read one of my stories (most of the time, lol). I also know that there are times when a reader wants to read something without sex, so I have separated my stories into sections for that very reason.

So yes, it did actually mildly offend me when a man posted pornography on my blog. Sigh... Anyway, rant over. Have a happy day :-D

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