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Saturday, December 16, 2017

Pro-Vaccination - A Satirical Analogy

Please remember that this is intended as Satire and that it should be taken with a grain of salt. My thoughts and beliefs do not have to be yours, and you don't have to get mad at me for having them.

The current, nearly dogmatic stance taken by Pro-Vaccinators feels a bit like this:

Pro to other person: "So here's how it works:
"You're going to have sex – whether you want to or not – using a condom made out of mercury... full of holes... with a person we know has syphilis. Before you do this, we're going to reassure you that if anything goes wrong, there's a national organization specifically to compensate you for the problem. After you do this, if anything actually does go wrong, that organization won't actually compensate you because you cannot PROVE that what's wrong with you is a result of this fully protected sex we forced you to have and NOT the unprotected sex you had with your spouse. And best of all, the reason we're forcing you to have this unwanted sex is because if you don't and get this disease this is supposed to protect you against, you'll probably give it to me and everyone else who has done this.
"Got it?”
Other person: “Uh...........” o.O

Monday, February 13, 2017

Morning Sickness - A Drabble

Draco woke up in a rather pleasant mood. He stretched and yawned before rolling over to find Harry and hopefully take care of some morning wood. Only Harry wasn't in bed.
With a disappointed sigh, Draco got out of bed and padded to their en suite bathroom. He immediately found Harry, who was draped over the toilet having an unpleasant conversation with it about the fact that he was pregnant. This sight churned Draco's stomach a little, but he was able to ignore his discomfort to focus on being sympathetic.
Until Harry heaved up something to add to the toilet. Draco had less than a second to conjure up a bucket before he vomited. When he was done, he sat on the bathroom floor and pressed a hand to his roiling stomach. He wasn't even the pregnant one!
Harry heaved again and Draco added more to his bucket. When he was done, he took a few deeply calming breaths. Then he glared at Harry.I blame you...”

Friday, January 27, 2017

The Misunderstanding

I have something for you, catch,” Draco ordered as he tossed a small box at Harry.
Harry caught the antique yet expensive jewelry box and stared at it in surprise. “Oh wow! Already? I thought I was going to have to talk you into it a lot more.”
What?” Draco asked in confusion.
Well, just that you didn't seem ready yet. The answer's yes, by the way.”
Er...” Draco droned in confusion for a moment. “I get the feeling that we're having two different conversations.”
Harry frowned. “Alright... What are you talking about?”
Draco gestured to the box. “I found a ring in my vault that is positively layered with protective charms, and since you're an Auror, I thought it might come in handy.”
Oh,” Harry murmured with a blush as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Why, what were you talking about?” Draco asked, still more confused than anything.
Er...” Harry said, unable to come up with a good evasion, so he simply opened the box and smiled at the ring. “Thanks for this.”
Wait...” Draco murmured, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Were you... Did you...” Then his expression changed to one of pure shock, making him gape at Harry.
Feeling far more embarrassed than he probably should, Harry spun around in order to flee the room. But before he could escape, Draco tackled him to the floor.
Oh no! You're not getting away that easily!” Draco exclaimed, fighting hard to keep Harry from wriggling free. Harry eventually gave up his struggle and let Draco pin him to the floor, flat on his back and with his hands above his head. “You said yes...”
Harry couldn't decide if that was said reverently or as an accusation. “Er, well, as you said, we were having two different conversations.”
You said yes,” Draco repeated, and this time, there was definitely awe in his voice. He seized a kiss so demanding that Harry nearly sacrificed his ability to breath for the greater good before he pulled away.
Yes,” Harry repeated in a soft whisper.
Yes!” Draco hissed happily, releasing Harry's hands so that he could smother him in an exuberant hug. “YES!”
Harry chuckled at that, returning the hug and stealing a kiss from Draco in return. Had he known that Draco would be this receptive, he might just have asked that question a while ago. With a grin, he decided it didn't matter since – happily – the end result was the same.

Charts and Readings