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Saturday, November 30, 2013

Cautiously Hopeful

I am cautiously hopeful :-) I don't really want to shout about it until I know for sure that it's going to stick around, but like 5 people read my blog and so I don't mind posting it; not that I'm trying to keep it a secret either, lol!

I'm pregnant! :-) This is happy news, and yet, since I miscarried last year, I am doing my best to not got too excited. I'm not going to make any plans or consider any names until I pass at least the 12 week mark. There are only two people in the whole world that I want to keep this a secret from, and that's Gryffin and Phoenix. The last time I was pregnant, they got so super excited, and then when I miscarried, they cried harder than I did!

So, because I don't want to break their hearts again, hubby and I are not talking about the bun in the oven until we are reasonably sure that it's going to finish baking and come out perfectly golden brown, lol!

Here's a pic of the pregnancy test I took. When I first took it, that plus was bright and confident, but then I put it in the plastic bag so I could put it in my purse and bring it home - I was at my mom's when I took the test - and it faded quite a bit before I got a chance to take a picture of it, but you can still see the plus sign telling me that I'm pregnant :-)

Now, according to my last period, I am only like 6 weeks along, so - since I miscarried at 7-8 weeks last time, I am going to wait until the 8th week before I go in for an official confirmation and an ultrasound to make sure that little one is alive and well in there.

But you want to know what? I am totally paranoid! I bet every woman who has ever miscarried feels this way. I am trying not to think about it, but every time I am in the bathroom, I check for spotting, and then I send up a prayer to my angels that this one will be healthy. It's going to be a long and rough 9 months! lol.

Anyway, I haven't done that 30 days of thanks giving in honor of Thanksgiving, but here's mine:

I am grateful for my husband and my boys and thankful that the Gods have seen fit to send another blessing my way. I pray for a girl, but experience has taught me that I'd rather have a live baby of either gender than a miscarried baby of indeterminate gender.

In other good news, I have achy breasts and the ability to sleep nearly 20 hours a day if I want, but I thankfully don't have nausea with this one, so yea! I didn't really have nausea with either or my boys, but I did with the one I miscarried, so maybe this is a good sign.

On this last day of November, may your blessings multiply too :-)

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