Tuesday, August 30, 2016
A Change Most Terrifying
Once upon a time, there was a war in the Wizarding World. On the one side, there was a powerful Lord who championed keeping magic pure and strong. He ruled through fear and appointed as his generals the purest and most noble witches and wizards.
On the other side was a boy. The Boy Who Lived, to be precise. The only person the Dark Lord could not kill. The person who – in the end – defeated the Dark Lord and saved the Wizarding World from tyranny and fear.
Sodding Harry Bloody Potter – Chosen One and Savior. Sigh... And Savior is an accurate description because no matter how much I didn't deserve it, he saved my life too. From an out of control fire that would have killed me in the most horrific way. After that, he saved me from a... colleague that didn't seem to care that I was related to the Dark Lord's most trusted – well, trust might be a strong word. Aunt Bella was unquestionably loyal though.
It was then – completely wandless and on my own – that I decided that it would probably be for the best if I just found a place to hide until the battle was over. I mean really, what could I do without a wand?
But luck was not on my side. Another so-called colleague found me, and maybe there were rumors that I had defected, or maybe the Dark Lord simply wanted to punish my father (and me) and passed out orders to deal with me. Or maybe these lower ranked Death Eaters just didn't like how close my family was to the Dark Lord. In any case, this lunatic who wasn't even bothering to wear a mask found me, and with an insane glint in his eyes, cornered me and cursed me.
I had no idea what the curse was. I still don't even though I know full well what the curse does. I pray every day that it was something he created himself, because then the curse died with him. Either way, I'm stuck with it and all the best Healers agree that there is no way to get rid of the curse. I simply have to deal with it...
Which is not always easy to do.
After the war, my family managed to get out of trouble – just as it always does. I'm not ungrateful, but I do feel that it's a bit unfair that my father is perhaps one of the worst criminals when it comes to things done in the war, and yet he walked free. Off hiding someplace warm and far away so that the ministry can't suddenly change its mind. He honestly doesn't think that he deserves to be in Azkaban.
There are times when I think that even I should be in Azkaban and I thank whatever deity I can that my mother – perhaps one of the most innocent of the Dark Lord's sympathizers – was not sent to prison either. She helped Harry Potter, so that worked in her favor.
My mother has always done everything for me. Even now, I am her biggest concern. As much as I love it, sometimes I hate it too. Sometimes I wish she would just leave me alone.
And then there's Harry... The first time I saw him after the war, he came to Malfoy Manor to return my wand, which he had taken from me at one point and then used to defeat V-v-v – the Dark Lord. We had a seriously awkward conversation. We were both trying our best not to argue, and to our great surprise, we didn't.
That's not to say that we agreed on everything. That first meeting between us after the war was the first time that we had ever had a normal conversation. We talked! About anything and everything that crossed our minds. We bickered about Quidditch and argued about the future of Wizarding Britain. That first visit lasted hours!
Which prompted another visit a week later. Harry confessed that he was tired of people who treated him like he was a hero. The only respite he had from the attention was when he went to his pseudo family's house or was home alone. And sometimes, he just wanted to do something different. So he came to visit me.
My mother wanted to turn him away. Apparently, she had kept him away for weeks before the first time he came over and was apprehensive about letting him come back. My curse had manifested quite often by that point, and she was afraid that I might accidentally hurt Harry. Her concerns were very valid even though they grated on my nerves. I felt like I was five years old being told that my friends couldn't come over because I was grounded for being naughty.
Fortunately for me, Harry was able to charm my mother and she wasn't quite able to say no to him because he was... as you might have guessed... Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World. Rather handy title, if you ask me.
At some point during the next few months, our conversations led to kissing. It was clear from almost the very first kiss that Harry wanted to do whatever I would let him, which was a heady thought. To be perfectly honest, I wanted him just as badly, but unfortunately, I was cursed and it might be very dangerous for the both of us if I lost control. So I pushed him away and told him what I hadn't quite had the courage to tell him yet.
That I was cursed and that I could not let him go any farther than kissing. We also agreed that my mother would worry and likely not allow Harry to come back if we told her what we were doing. So we kept our sort of relationship a secret.
The Healers continued to try to treat me, but of course, nothing worked. They couldn't even determine what triggered the particularly nasty effect of my curse, although I had a vague idea. Suffice it to say that my room as well as the rest of the Manor were now protected by the most powerful fire proofing charms in existence because when my curse triggered, I could easily destroy everything and I wouldn't even know I was doing it.
It was scary to think about!
As the months passed, I was all alone in my own little world except for the constant presence of my mother and the fairly regular presence of Harry. If not for Harry, I may well have lost my mind! I suspect that he kept me calm enough that my curse remained dormant. Enough that I trusted him to make a habit out of taking both our shirts off so that we could stroke and pet each other as we kissed. Nothing too tempting, just a couple of hours of lazy snogging.
As usual, Harry loved the tattoo I had gotten right after the first time my curse activated – before my mother decided to keep me practically locked up in the Manor for my own protection. He loved to play with, stroke, and kiss my tattoo almost as much as he loved to kiss me. If I'm honest, I love it too, but I couldn't let him do it too long, because inevitably, I'd want his hands and mouth to go lower, but that was out of the question. Too risky. I might lose control.
Harry was currently kissing the inked dragon twisting its way up my side, from my hipbone to my armpit. It's a Muggle tattoo, so the ink doesn't move; the gray dragon etched onto my side just stayed exactly where it was, day in and day out. It was absolutely beautiful to me; done in countless shades of gray that made the dragon look as if it's half in shadow. It's not a friendly-looking creature; Harry always fancied it looked protective somehow, claws holding tightly onto my skin and pale eye carefully watching should anyone approach.
The first time he saw it, I told him that I did it because it made me cool. He sort of rolled his eyes at me for that, but didn't argue. I have no idea why, but I couldn't just admit to him that getting the tattoo was the only thing I felt I could do to give me just a little bit of control over my life and my body. I think maybe he understood anyway.
“Have we got time?” Harry asked, subtly hinting that he wanted to play – and while I trusted him not to push me too far, I also knew that he wanted to expand my boundaries just a little.
We were both almost 19 – for Merlin's sake! Of course he wanted his secret boyfriend to let him go just a little further, and so help me, I did too. If only I could be sure that my curse wouldn't activate at the most inopportune and rotten time!
“She said she'd be back at three,” I replied, referring to my mother.
Harry took this as permission to lay directly on top of me as we snogged, my hands in his hair and one of his stroking my side. My shirt was off but his was still on. It was simply safer to leave a little bit of clothing between us. But safety wasn't quite on my mind at the moment. I abruptly tugged his shirt off and tossed it to the side where mine was laying.
He groaned in appreciation of the feel of his bare chest pressed to mine, but I was getting dangerously caught up in the moment. I shifted my hands down to his waist so that I could unfasten his belt buckle. A moment later, I unzipped his trousers so that I would have access to grope him – the furthest I have ever let this go.
A sudden knock on the door had Harry leaping off the bed in a mad dash to grab our shirts – which he tossed at me. Then he frantically fastened his trousers and fumbled with his belt as the door opened and my mother stepped into the room. In my panic, I hadn't been able to untangle my shirt and put it on, so I jumped out of bed and held it in front of me as I looked to the floor. My cheeks were burning from embarrassment, and I once again felt like I was five years old and being caught misbehaving.
“Draco,” mother said, her voice tight with disapproval. I found that I couldn't help but cringe.
“Mr. Potter,” she continued, her voice now trembling with fury. “A word?”
“Mother,” I tried to protest, but she shot me a look so closed off and unwilling to listen to me that I fell silent.
As Harry silently pulled on his shirt and straightened his glasses, my mother gave me a look and snapped: “And we will discuss that thing on your side later!” Harry then followed my mother out of the room. She shut the door behind them so that I couldn't hear, but I pressed my ear to the door and tried to listen anyway.
I couldn't hear them at first because they were both whispering, but then Harry must have gotten fed up. "I'm not taking advantage," he cried out indignantly.
Then they argued for a while, too softly for me to hear. Slowly, stealthily, I opened my door so that I could hear them.
“Yeah, I know. And I still want him," Harry replied, sounding a bit shocked at his own words, as if he couldn't believe that he just said that to my mother. "I don't care.”
“You have to care," she snapped angrily. "I will not let anything happen to him just because you've decided you want a little danger in your life. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
“No," Harry stated stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not leaving."
“You will go," mother insisted, her hand drifting towards her hip, towards her wand. "You will not come into this house, take advantage of my son and lie to me –"
“I don't want him to go," I blurted out, surprised to have done so. Even more surprisingly, no matter how nervous I felt, my voice was strong and determined.
Both of them fell silent and looked at me.
“I want him to stay,” I clarified, tilting my chin stubbornly in a very elegant and Malfoy way. I learned this look from my father before I could walk or talk. "I'm of age; I can decide who I have in my room."
We stared each other down for a long time and I could see my mother quickly calculating everything. She wanted to protect me but she knew that I was right. I am of age which meant that I could up and leave if I so choose. The only reason I haven't yet is because I know that my mother is helping me keep control over the danger that lurked inside me.
We argued, rather pointlessly in my opinion. I yelled things like: "I spend twenty hours a day in that room, and if I'm lucky Harry turns up for one or two of them!" And: “I can't just stay alone for the rest of my life!” Eventually, I let this embarrassing bit slip out: "Mother, if he wants me…"
With a sigh, mother suggested that we take this discussion to someplace more civilized. As she walked away, I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on. This gave me an excuse to not look at Harry as I mumbled: “I'm sorry.”
Harry leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss. “Would you want me to stay?" Harry asked against my mouth, running his fingers through the short hairs above my ear, as if tucking away an imaginary lock.
“I wouldn't want to hurt you," I said with difficulty. "But yes. Yes, I want you to stay. I always want you to stay, but –"
Harry kissed me again. "Come on, we'll talk her round."
“Not bloody likely," I muttered and Harry laughed softly, pushing me forward with a hand in the small of my back. I let him guide me, trusting him completely.
When Harry first visited me, I was still so angry; tightly wound and upset; unable to accept what had happened to me. As we've grown closer, I've grown calmer. Now, I only feel frustrated when he's not around. I would do whatever it took to keep him by my side.
After we joined my mother in the nearest parlor, staying close to my room for safety reasons, she tried to distract me. She suddenly wanted to talk about anything else. Perhaps she thought I'd forget my stance if we didn't talk about it before it grew late enough that she could send Harry home for the night.
She talked about my condition. She asked about my tattoo and I confessed that I'd got it the last time I was allowed out of the house, before we knew that my curse was permanent and she decided that it was too dangerous for me to be around other people. Then I insisted that we talk about the fact that she wanted to send Harry away and never let him return.
I got angry again when it seemed like she wouldn't listen to reason. “I fucking wish this had never happened!”
“Language!” Mother chided with a sharp look.
I was so beyond frustrated and angry that I just snapped. It came out as an odd laugh. "Or what? You'll ground me? Never let me see my friends? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Do as you fucking will. The only thing you can take off me now is my bed!"
Mother stared at me for a long moment, and then got to her feet. "I will not talk to you when you're like this," she said, and then left the room.
That left me alone with Harry, who listened to me rant for a few more moments before cutting me off with a hard kiss. I couldn't help that I felt angry and frustrated. Helpless. Useless. Worthless.
I vaguely remember kissing Harry, but it felt a bit like I was on autopilot with my eyes shut. Something was slowly taking over. I suspected that it might be my curse, but it had never felt quite like this before. Previously, it happened so quickly that I didn't really remember anything but pain.
“Draco?” Harry questioned, having noticed that something was wrong. It took far more effort than it should have, but I opened my eyes to look at him. He looked... distorted... “Fuck!” He exclaimed in panic.
The first thing Harry did was let go of me and sit back, but then he grabbed my face and tried to get me to focus on him. “Fuck, Draco, don't you dare do this now,” he cried out desperately, but I couldn't respond. “Draco, come on Draco – Narcissa!"
I think he was shaking me, but I'm not exactly sure. Things were rapidly becoming a blur. My body started to feel like I was in the shower and someone was perversely alternating the temperature between freezing cold and boiling hot.
I am pretty sure Harry was trying to drag me back to my room, but the very last bit of my sanity was concerned that he would get hurt if he didn't get away from me, so I lashed out at him. Trying to kick him away. Even so, he didn't give up.
I honestly don't know what happened next, aside from the pain and screaming. I can only assume that my curse took over and changed me, because when I finally did have a coherent thought – who knows how long later – it was to see that Harry was trapped in my room with me, looking rather terrified and panicked. Can't exactly blame him since I fucking terrify myself when I'm like this.
My skin had turned to cold hard scales. It's a variegated mottled gray. My body was now so big that it's lucky that I have a huge bedroom, and even it seemed like a tight squeeze at the moment. I had leathery wings and breathed fire.
That mother buggering curse had changed me into a dragon!
My animal instincts had taken control, making me rear up and flex and stretch my wings even though it damaged the ceiling. I also roared because my dragon form was elated to finally be allowed out to play. A startlingly alluring scent caught my attention, bringing me back down onto all four... feet? Paws? Talons?
Not having the space to move properly and still suffering from a fair bit of lingering pain, I limped forward and prepared to attack, but then I stopped. The incredible and tantalizing scent that I just wanted to devour and breathe in forever belonged to Harry. This realization gave me just enough control over my dragon form that I reined in the urge to bite him and find out what his blood tasted like.
Previous experience told me that I wouldn't remember most of what was happening right now, but that wasn't really a comfort at the moment. If my control slipped and I harmed Harry – or worse, killed him – my human self would never forgive me. I'd have no reason to go on.
I would almost certainly kill myself, which is something I have considered doing many times. Only my love for my mother has stopped me before. And Harry. My growing infatuation for Harry.
As I stood there – just a foot from Harry, my mouth slightly open as I breathed in his delicious aroma – Harry seemed to gather up his courage. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I could hear his heart hammering in his chest, and the instincts of my dragon were crying out for me to claw his chest open and lick his heart oh so gently as it slowly stopped beating.
Horrified, I firmly forced my dragon urges into a box in the back of my mind.
“Draco...?” Harry croaked, his knees suddenly giving out.
I didn't even think about it, I simply leaned forward and stopped him from falling by pressing my snout into his chest. Sweet Merlin! His scent filled my nose stronger than ever and it was all I could do not to lick him like I was a dog!
“Oh god, it's you," Harry managed to choke out, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and struggling to stay upright. "Oh my god."
“Draco,” Harry said again, and the fear in his voice made me pull back abruptly. I sat on my hind legs and gently flapped my wings at him. It was the only way that I could communicate, and I hoped that he understood that I was telling him to leave the room since I couldn't guarantee that my dragon instincts wouldn't take over and eat him slowly and with great relish. And fuck! He smelled so damn good!
Harry took a few hesitant steps forward. “How have you done that?" He asked, his voice trembling. "How –"
I ducked my head and pushed him back, accidentally sending him sprawling. Apparently he didn't understand my message and needed me to get my point across by shoving him out of the room if I had to. He looked strangely hurt, as if he just watched me kick his puppy.
"What the fuck?" Harry gasped, trying to push himself up. He was barely on his knees when I shoved at him again, roughly pushing him with my snout.
“Stop it," Harry shouted, shoving back ineffectually at my snout. "If that's you in there I'm not going anywhere! I said I'd stay with you so I fucking well will!"
I was flabbergasted – if a dragon could be flabbergasted. I also felt like my heart was going to burst from happiness. My dragon immediately irritated the hell out of me by delightedly insisting that I eat my prey while it was being so very willing. I swished my tail in agitation and decided that I had better try again, but Harry countered by going for his wand.
Pointing his wand at one of my eyes, Harry growled as menacingly as he could considering that he was facing a dragon. “I'm not going anywhere," he stated fiercely. "Stop it."
I found that I couldn't move. There was a battle going on in my head. Half of me wanted to sink my teeth into Harry; to tear the flesh from his bones and then chew on and suck the marrow from his bones until there was nothing left. The other half of me was overjoyed that Harry was so fucking heroic that he'd literally face a dragon just to be with me.
At this moment, I wished I was cursed to change into a dog instead. If I was, I'd promptly roll over and insist that he rub my belly while I licked his face and hands. And then I could chew on his fingers and lick the blood that pours from them until – oh wait, that's my dragon half again.
Slowly, I lowered my head to let him know that I understood and that I would do my absolute best to keep my dragon half under control and not eat him. Not even a little. Not even a tiny bite.
Harry took a cautious step forward and I was so happy that my wings flapped without my conscious desire to make them. That made him pause, but then he continued. When he could, he knelt before me and ran his trembling hand all over my snout – a look of near wonder mixed with fear in his eyes as he discovered what my new skin felt like.
Unexpectedly, he suddenly looked a bit overwhelmed. Getting to his feet, he took a step back, but now that my dragon half had accepted that he couldn't eat Harry, he had decided that just having him very close was enough. That way, we could smell Harry as much as we wanted. So, without thinking, I grabbed his shirt with my teeth and yanked him forward.
Of course, fine movements are rather beyond me at the moment, so Harry fell to the floor and his wand went flying. The moment he sat up, I roughly pulled him to my side and curled around him, like I was a dog curling in on myself as I laid down to go to sleep. Only it was also a bit like I was a child clutching a teddy bear.
I ended by gently placing my head in Harry's lap, making him laugh unexpectedly. Only it was one of those laughs that's equal parts crying. He even had tears running down his face. I wished I could comfort him, but I didn't dare so much as lick him in case my dragon half took that as an invitation to bite him too.
"Alright, I said I'd stay so I'll stay," Harry said, and I found myself making a noise that sounded oddly like a purr, a rumble deep in my chest that Harry must feel vibrating his entire body.
Harry ran his hand down my head, between my eyes and along my nose. My nostrils flared and my eyes closed, so Harry repeated the motion and we both felt another rumbling purr vibrate through our bodies. Harry's fear was fading; I could tell because his heartbeat was slowly returning to normal. I was glad and tempted to lick him again.
Harry leaned forward, draping himself over the top of my head and resting his cheek against my flat, silvery scales; placing one palm against my jaw and the other near his own face atop my head. I moved my head minutely and the rumbling noise in my chest continued, now oddly comforting. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. It was no surprise that I'd be tired since the transformation must be a huge drain on my magic – and thus my energy in general.
It seemed like only a moment had passed, but...
The next thing I knew, Harry was kissing my forehead. I shifted in my half sleep, slinging one leg over his legs. This caught my attention.
“Harry?” I whispered hoarsely, still not opening my eyes.
“Yeah, I'm here,” Harry whispered back, sounding rather emotional.
“What happened?" I wondered, my voice and my body trembling. "I – I remember not being able to talk, and you were shouting my name-"
“You changed," Harry told me, holding me tight, his mouth brushing my temple as he spoke. "And you recognized me. Didn't hurt a hair on my head."
“I – what?” I asked in confusion. While it is true that I never remembered much after one of my transformations, he couldn't be telling the truth because he was still here. With me. Not dead!
Harry laughed and pulled me even closer for a brief moment. "You changed, but you were still you. I've been with you all night," he said, then pushed himself up onto his elbow. I sat up shakily as well, and then realized that I was utterly naked. I pulled my legs up as I felt my cheeks turn a blotchy pink from embarrassment. This was not how I pictured Harry seeing me naked for the first time!
As I asked about my mother, Harry helped me to my feet, and then held the blanket just a little off my bed so that I could slide in and cover up. This made me want to hug him for being sweet and gentlemanly – bloody Gryffindor! As he was tucking me in, my mother arrived to check on us.
A short conversation ensued, and she was so relieved that we were both fine that she relented and gave permission for Harry to stay with me before she left. Harry wasted no time joining me in bed. His hands stroked my dragon tattoo, staying in areas he had prior permission to touch. I wondered if he was thinking about the fact that I had drawn – for my tattoo – what I looked like in dragon form; the best I could considering that I had to watch one of my mother's memories in a pensieve in order to see it.
I'd actually had to see it to believe the curse was real at first, but then after I'd seen it, my mother's terrified but loving expression made total sense.
A thought occurred to me as I was drifting back off to sleep. “Now I know what I need to do next time I want to get my own way," I joked, my voice sounding like I was holding back a yawn.
Harry shook his head – and probably rolled his eyes. Then he tucked my head under his chin and promised to kiss my dragon tattoo later on. He sounded sleepy too, which made me wonder how long we'd slept on the floor for if we were both still so tired.
I pressed a couple of light kisses to the hollow between his collarbones, feeling calmer and more at peace than I could ever remember feeling before. I had my Harry here in my arms and he had every intention of staying with me despite knowing exactly what terrible danger lurked inside me.
With a happy sigh, I fell asleep.
When I woke later that morning, the sun was streaming in through my windows so strongly that I suspected that it must be close to noon. More importantly, Harry was still in bed with me. I could have squealed from happiness, but Malfoys do not squeal.
Instead, I let my hands roam all over Harry's body. Sadly, he was still dressed while I was embarrassingly naked. I decided that this was just not on and needed to be remedied immediately.
Harry moaned sleepily as I unzipped his trousers and slipped a hand inside them. He squirmed into my hand and moaned again. Seriously impatient, I grabbed my wand from under my pillow and banished all his clothes to the other side of the room. Much better!
My hands immediately returned to where they had been. Now that Harry was naked, I could feel how smooth and silky his hard shaft was. Looks like someone was having an interesting dream! I stroked him slowly, playfully, until he gasped in surprise and opened his eyes to look at me.
“Good morning,” I greeted him softly, and then gave him a kiss.
“A very good morning!” Harry agreed with a grin. His hands roamed my body until they came to rest on my rigidly erect shaft. Our breaths came out hot and heavy as we wanked each other. This was a test to my theory...
I had noticed that every time I transformed in the past, it was usually preceded by strong emotions of anger, frustration, and even fear. It had never happened – that I remember – when I was calm and in control. Which might be one of the reasons that Harry had never witnessed my change into a dragon before; he tended to make me calm. Cheerful. Happy.
Before now, my mother – who must also suspect that I changed when I lost control of my temper – must have decided that the key was losing control, full stop. She probably thought that the emotion I lost control of didn't matter. Thus she had warned me not to have sex of any sort with anyone (before she found out about Harry and me yesterday) because she hypothesized that an orgasm would trigger a change.
And yes, that had been an excruciating conversation!
In any case, I had listened to her because I didn't want to risk her being right. That said, I'd wanked from time to time with no transformations... that I knew of... So I figured that it should be safe enough for the two of us to use our hands on each other.
Happily, Harry was in complete agreement. I think he might have a bit more experience at wanking than me because his hand felt like sheer heaven on my shaft! I was having trouble concentrating on returning the favor.
My knees started shaking and I could feel the telltale signs gathering at the base of my spine. To my surprise, Harry went first, coating my hand with his spunk, along with our stomachs. I found this so erotic that I followed him, a low and prolonged groan escaping me.
Before I could even catch my breath, Harry kissed me, his tongue swirling around mine slowly. Searchingly. I felt my groin tug as if it wanted to keep going, but I ignored it for now.
As we snogged, I tried to remember when was the last time I'd kissed anyone other than Harry. It had been... over a year ago. About a month or two before the final battle, I'd shagged someone, probably Blaise. It had been a quick way to relieve stress. I remember thinking at the time that he was a good kisser, but honestly, those kisses had been nothing compared to these. I could stay right here in bed forever if it meant that I could keep snogging Harry!
But then his stomach growled hungrily. Harry pulled back with a blush. “Sorry...”
I smiled at him. “Don't worry, I'm sure that we can order breakfast in bed.”
“That sounds good,” Harry moaned blissfully.
As if on cue, a house elf arrived with a fancy note card which he respectfully handed to me before leaving. My darling son, please resist the temptation to linger in bed all day and join me for tea at your convenience. Harry is welcome to stay and join us.
I grinned and handed the note to Harry. He read it with a light blush. “Do you think she had one of the house elves spying on us so that she'd know when we woke up?” He asked in a whisper, looking around as if he expected a house elf to be lurking in a corner.
I laughed. “Probably not. Er Maybe? I might have to ask, actually.”
This made Harry laugh and give me another slow and lingering kiss. “She did say at our convenience,” Harry murmured. “Which means we have time to finish snogging first.”
I was rather hoping that he would say that!
“So I was wondering,” Harry informed me unexpectedly as we were curled up on a blanket in the garden, looking up at the gorgeous dusky sky on the day before my 19th birthday. “Have you ever tried to change on purpose before?”
“Why would I do that?!” I asked, aghast.
“I think that it might make a big difference,” Harry suggested with a shrug.
I sighed heavily. “Harry, my mother has only been letting me out of the house for about a month now. If she thought for a second that I was considering changing on purpose, I really think that she'd lock me in my room for the rest of time.”
It was Harry's turn to sigh. “Just think about it, alright? Try it when you're all alone in your room so that you can't hurt anyone, but try it.”
“Why?” I questioned a bit incredulously.
“Because the way it stands right now, you're so terrified of changing, of turning into a dragon and hurting someone, that you're letting your mother keep you a prisoner in your own home,” Harry explained softly, giving me a calm but serious look. “I really think that if you learn to do it when you want to do it; when you are in control of it, you'll learn not to be so afraid of it.”
“Hmm...” I hummed in thought, not quite ready to admit that it made some sense. “I'll think about it.”
“Good,” Harry stated, and then started kissing me for the first time in about a half an hour.
I moaned happily and tangled my fingers in his wild black hair. I am rather alarmingly becoming addicted to having him in my arms. Pressing my nose to his neck, I took a deep breath and felt my inner dragon perk up with interest.
Lick bite drink, he urged. With a smile, I ignored him. Smell him again? My inner dragon asked tentatively. I inhaled for so long that I grew dizzy from it. Then I decided to compromise by licking and nipping at Harry's neck, giving him dark love bites that marked him as mine. Mine... my dragon growled possessively. Ours, I suggested. Ours, he agreed, content to remain in the background and purr as I kissed Harry.
Harry smiled against my lips. He took a moment to kiss each of my eyes, and then tapped a finger against my chest. “You're purring and your eyes have shifted back and forth a couple of times, so I know you're considering what I said. I'm glad because I really think it will help you.”
“My eyes shifted?” I inquired in confusion.
“Yes,” Harry responded with a serene smile. “I've noticed it happen from time to time. Your eyes are normally a soft shade of gray, but when you're a dragon, it's your skin and scales that are gray while your eyes are golden yellow with reptilian slits. At times when you are calm and definitely you, I'll see your eyes change as if the dragon is taking a look around for a moment.”
“Oh?” I didn't know that. “Hmm... I'll have to think about that too.”
“You do that,” Harry whispered against my lips before kissing me again.
I responded by running a hand up inside his shirt. His hand drifted down to my trousers. A house elf arrived, squeaked in dismay, and handed me a note card.
Darling, if you're going to do that, please do it in the privacy of your room as opposed to right out in my garden where I tend to look while sipping on my tea.
I didn't know whether to groan in frustration or laugh at the thought of her spitting out her tea when she looked out the window and saw us in flagrante delicto. Harry giggled and did his best to not look to the window she was likely watching us from.
“Come on,” I invited, getting to my feet and holding a hand out to Harry. “Let's go back to bed.”
“That's an excellent suggestion,” Harry agreed with a grin as he got to his feet. “We can eat dinner, play a card game, and just generally chat until midnight, and then I can try to wow you for your birthday.”
This provoked a groan of longing from me and I felt my dragon perk up with interest again. We both definitely liked this idea. In fact, tonight might just be a good night to let Harry shag me. Or me shag him. Not sure which one sounds more appealing. Who knows? Maybe we can do it both ways. Oh yes, this idea was worth exploring!
“You see, you're doing it again,” Harry pointed out, brushing his fingers very gently from my forehead down my eyes.
“Mmm...” I moaned, feeling filled to the brim with lust. “Then it probably happens whenever both me and my dragon want you so badly that I can barely think straight.”
“That often?!” Harry asked in surprise.
Suddenly, I didn't want to go back to my room. Grabbing Harry's hand, I pulled him to a far more private place at the back of the garden. This was an alcove set up a long time ago for chaperoned visits between young ladies and courting gentlemen. I'm willing to bet that my mother saw us come here and was even now writing another note letting us know that even though she couldn't see us, this was still not an appropriate place for a shag.
Not that I really cared at the moment. However, that's not what I had in mind. I had this powerful feeling in my chest that nearly overwhelmed me. A feeling that Harry might be right...
Taking a deep breath, I stared Harry in the eyes and felt myself go into a light trance. Alright dragon, if you can promise me that you won't harm so much as a hair on Harry's head, I'll let you out to play for a bit.
My inner dragon sat up to full attention at that. Play?! He sounded so eager that I smiled. I promise, no hurting our Harry!
A moment later, I felt my entire body ripple. A sensation like cold water pouring over me made me shiver, and then I warmed right back up as a fire seemed to travel along my spine. Bones shifted, seeming to melt. To my astonishment, there was no unbearable pain. Yes, it was still disconcerting and uncomfortable, but not truly painful. It felt a bit like... stretching and contracting.
When I was done, I flexed my wings and turned around in circles to try to get a good look at my dragon body. As I had changed, I heard Harry gasp, but didn't really pay any attention to him. Now he put a hand on the spot where my wing met my shoulder and stroked me reverently.
“Draco...” he exhaled in awe.
Apparently my inner dragon took the suggestion of play seriously. I bounded around a bit like an overeager puppy for a few minutes, purposely trying to knock Harry off balance every 30 seconds or so. He took this in stride, laughing and running around with me like we were playing tag.
Suddenly, I caught a whiff of a new smell and whipped around to snarl at the intruder. One of the house elves squealed in terror and flung himself to the ground. I continued to growl at him even though I felt bad for scaring him.
“Wilfy is being sorry, Master Draco! Mistress Narcissa sent Wilfy to ask what Master wishes to eat for his birthday dinner tomorrow!”
Harry stepped between me and the Wilfy. “Master Draco says that he will answer your question later. Please go assure Mistress Narcissa that everything is under control and Master Draco is just fine.”
“Yes... Master Harry Potter, sir,” Wilfy managed to say despite his clear terror. He promptly left.
Draco was impressed. The strange thing was that he knew that there was nothing to fear from house elves, and yet his dragon self could not stop from growling at the poor creature. And it wasn't a protective growl or a warning growl, it was a clear and definite growl of: leave me alone now or I will bite you in half. Which would be a tragic waste of a very valuable house elf.
Shaking off the interruption, I turned back to Harry, burying my snout in his chest as I inhaled deeply. Then I started purring, giving into the temptation to lick him. He choked back a gasp, and then looked at the damp patch on his shirt.
“I can't decide if that is you being friendly or you wanting to eat me,” Harry remarked wryly.
Both! Thankfully, he couldn't hear me thinking. I'm really not sure what he would think if he knew that my dragon half was constantly urging me to bite him. I licked him again, this time on his neck. He shuddered uncontrollably, and I instinctively understood that this was because he was more than a little repulsed by my long and snakelike tongue.
Changing tactics, I carefully used my teeth to grab his shirt and jerk him toward my side.
“Are you going to curl around me again and take a nap?” Harry asked.
Of course, I couldn't answer him verbally, so I did the next best best thing. I crouched and tried once more to nudge him to my side. It took him a moment to work out what I wanted.
“Do... Draco, do you want me to get on your back?” Harry asked a bit breathlessly.
I snorted out a long plume of hot flame.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Harry asked warily.
I dipped my head in a short nod.
“Well... alright, I'll try it,” Harry said and carefully climbed onto my back.
I waited patiently for him to settle into a secure position, and then for the very first time since I was cursed, I took off running until I could leap into the air and take flight. To my relief, I had the power and strength necessary to carry Harry as I flew around. Not so unexpectedly, Harry whooped with joy.
Flying had always been one of his favorite pastimes.
Not having anywhere in particular to go, I confined my flying to the property around the Manor. It was great fun to soar and plummet; to sway side to side; to form a vast infinity sign in the sky. I loved the feel of Harry clinging to my back. He was clearly enjoying most of it, although the plummeting seemed to cause him some apprehension.
Eventually, I started to feel a bit tired. As I came back down to the ground, I noticed my mother watching us. She was standing at the edge of the garden and looked torn between worry and wonder. I purposely landed right in front of her.
She looked at me for a long moment, and then watched Harry slide from my back. Her smell was tinted with fear, worry, and even a little bit of pride. My need to reassure her was stronger than anything else at the moment, so I told my dragon that playtime was over.
He grumbled for a moment, but actually didn't argue because he was tired. I felt him recede, my body going cold, hot, and then melty all over again. When it was over, I stood before my mother, naked as the day I was born.
Rather than let me feel embarrassed, she burst out in tears of relief and joy, flinging her arms around me. “Oh my precious boy!”
I returned her tight hug. “I'm alright. I'm just fine.” And better yet, I remembered everything. Hopefully, I'll still remember it after I get a good night's sleep. Speaking of, a huge yawn escaped me.
“Oh!” Mother exclaimed as if she was a hostess who had forgotten her duties. “Of course you need your rest! Go on.”
I pulled free from her with a nod of agreement. Without another word, she kissed my cheek and then Disapparated. I turned to Harry.
“That was amazing!” Harry crowed joyously as he also threw his arms around me.
“It's all because of you,” I whispered, feeling awed. “You keep me... myself. You're right, I needed that. I... I'm not afraid anymore.”
With a smile of something that looked suspiciously like pure love, Harry brushed some hair out of my face. “I'm glad.” Then he kissed me so passionately that my toes literally curled. Merlin help me! I think I'm might be hopelessly in love with this man!
Entwining my fingers with his, I tilted my head toward the house. “Come on, let's go to bed. You can work on wowing me like you promised.”
He grinned, and without a word, Apparated us both straight to my bed. Unfortunately, my extreme use of magic and energy caught up with me and I passed out. As I did, I heard Harry chuckle. He tucked me in, promising to wow me tomorrow.
With that to look forward to, I'm certain I grinned all night.