My Apologies

I'm sorry that I haven't posted practically anything at all this month, but aside from my computer effing up, and leaving me without my word program, I have been really REALLY tired. Not just tired, I've been able to sleep! It's so weird, I go to bed at night, fall asleep and stay that way until morning! (The sleep is seriously cutting into my time to write.)

Honestly, I'm enjoying this new ability :-) I found out a couple of days ago that this ability is only temporary, sigh... It's happened before... Check it out:

I'm only 6 weeks 6 days according to the ultrasound, but I feel at least 2 or 3 times as pregnant! In fact, I thought I was having twins! But no, there's just one. We want a girl. We ALL want a girl! I am going to spend the next couple of weeks telling this baby that she WILL be a girl damnit! Lol!

I'm going to crochet some things for her in pink, and purple. (Once I buy some yarn.) That will cut into my writing time too, but don't fear, come the third trimester - if I continue on in the same pattern - I will be awake practically around the clock. There's nothing quite like being unable to sleep when a baby is about to come into your life and keep you up constantly.

THAT'S why women get PPD in my opinion. They get so little sleep that they turn into depressive homicidal and suicidal maniacs! Or at least that's what happened to me after Phoenix was born (and for a little bit when Gryffin was colicky).

Anyway, I'm excited :-) AND terribly anxious! With my first two, I didn't even know I was pregnant. With Gryffin I found out at 32 weeks, and had him a month later. With Phoenix, I suspected for a little while beforehand, but didn't confirm until I was 24 weeks. So, it's a bit terrifying to know this early when there's still a risk of miscarriage.

Not to mention, I spotted the DAY AFTER I found out! I was so sad and scared when I saw the brownish blood, but I forced myself to be calm. After all, some women just bleed while pregnant. I went into the doctor right away, and a vaginal exam plus the ultrasound confirmed that everything is fine, phew!

Funny story: My Hubby came home late Friday night, and I was antsy to tell him that I was possibly pregnant, but as I told him I was having some weird symptoms - the ability to sleep, random nausea, constipation, feeling like I can't breathe, itchy nipples, pain that could be stretching in my lower abdomen - he fell asleep.

To be fair, we were in bed, and it was after midnight. He heard, "I've been able to sleep at night, take naps, AND STILL sleep all night!" before he was out cold, lol! The next morning, I couldn't tell him, but I kept insisting that we HAD to go to the store so I could buy something.

When he finally asked me what was so important, I whispered "A pregnancy test" in his ear so that they boys wouldn't hear. He immediately looked nauseous. I think his aura darkened, lol! He muttered something like "you better not be!"

I went to the store, bought the test, came home, and went to the bathroom. A couple minutes later, I showed the test to my Hubby, and after taking a good look, he blurts out, "Fuck!" I immediately turned around and walked away so that he wouldn't see me grin or hear me laugh, lol! I expected his reaction, and it made me laugh!

After that, we talked about not telling anyone until I was much farther along. The conversation went like this:
Me: "Honey, I think we should keep this a secret for a while."
Hubby: "Yeah, me too."
Me: "Oh really? Why?"
Hubby: "Because I don't want to hear what people are going to say."
Me: "That's exactly why I wanted to keep it a secret too!"

Sad to say, but we know quite a few people who are going to think - but hopefully not say out loud - Oh great! Those are the LAST two people who should be having another baby! I figured that I'd announce it here on my blog first because, ironically, none of those people read my blog anyway. So, in that way, I will be keeping it a secret from them until later. When I have an ultrasound pic that actually looks like a baby... Maybe about 12 weeks or so... That's when I'll make the official announcement :-)

However, like wildfire, I bet they'll hear the rumor spread, lol!

Anyway, so now you all know why I haven't and probably won't be posting quite as often. Don't worry, when the time is right, I'll have tons more stuff to post, I'm sure :-)

Have a happy day!